


long time no see

by Lytorika



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Clothed Sex, Honestly not sure how to tag this, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Office Sex, i don't know what the tag for that is or if there is one at all, it's not actually sex jonah just sucks kevin through his pants, not the crossover you want but the crossover you get
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26669392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lytorika/pseuds/Lytorika
Summary: I swear this is a joke please don't come for my ass
Relationships: Kevin (Welcome to Night Vale)/Elias Bouchard, Kevin (Welcome to Night Vale)/Jonah Magnus
Kudos: 20





	long time no see

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knifepyjamas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knifepyjamas/gifts).



> I swear this is a joke please don't come for my ass

There's a loud knock on the door and Elias is about to open his mouth to ask who wants to see him at this hour, he was about to go home, why did Rosie even let anyone through- but before he can say anything, the door is already opened and a familiar, scarred man strides up to his desk. 

Elias loathes to admit that he has to suppress a shudder when the man leans forward, inches away from his face, staring right into his eyes. Elias feels a drop of sweat forming on his forehead and quickly looks away. 

After leaning back to regain his personal space and collect his thoughts, Elias crosses his legs. 

With as little emotion as he can muster, he says 

“Ah, Kevin. How _nice_ to see you again.” 

“Long time no see, _Jonah_! You haven’t aged a day.” Kevin laughs. It sounds less hysteric than before, somehow. 

Elias scowls. “Ha ha, _very_ funny, Kevin.” Despite the obvious jab at his pride, Elias’s eyes wander up and down Kevin’s body, trying to find any changes, however subtle they may be. He _Knows_ the man hasn’t changed much physically, but his pride cannot allow him to trust The Eye in this matter. Kevin _has_ to have aged in _some_ way. 

To his disappointment, he doesn’t find anything. No flaws, just like back then. Well, except for his personality. Then again, Jonah has never been one to judge based on _personality_ when it came to his... _nightly encounters_. 

“This really isn’t fair, you know?” Elias shakes his head. “How come you get to keep that body of yours for centuries, yet I have to get a new one every 40 or so years?” 

Kevin cocks his head to the side and raises a hand to his chin, shifting his body weight and pretending to be thinking hard. _Pretending_. 

Elias narrows his eyes. He is a very patient man, but Kevin always manages to make him lose his temper without even saying a word. Elias sighs and massages his temples, already feeling a headache coming on. 

He hears Kevin chuckle and his eyes snap open again, glaring at the man. “ _What do you want, Kevin?_ ” 

Kevin is about to open his mouth, but Elias speaks up again. “And make it _quick_ , I was about to leave.” 

Kevin’s eyes - well - _eye sockets_ widen, but he is quick to catch himself. He laughs again. 

“My, my! You’re quite impatient this century. Is the body not comfortable? I could get you a new one, for a small favour...” He smirks, and Elias scowls. “Oh, I think I have had quite enough of your little _favours_ , Kevin. I’m really not in the mood. Come back next century, if you miss me so badly. If there will even be a “next century”.” Now it is Elias’s turn to smirk, but Kevin looks unimpressed. 

“Don’t you say that every century?” 

Elias lets out a noise that sounds something like a hiss. The office chair squeaks as it is roughly pushed back when Elias stands up to grab his coat and cane. 

He doesn’t need a cane, but he likes the sentiment. And it looks quite nice. It is almost as old as he himself, after all. 

“Have a good day.” Elias pushes past Kevin and is about to open the door when he feels the weight of two hands pressing against his back. The hands move to his shoulders, and suddenly Kevin is pressing him against the door with his entire bodyweight. 

Elias struggles to breathe for a second, trying to at least free his hand so he can turn that _bloody_ doorknob. 

“Why are you in such a rush? Are you not happy to see me, after all those years?” Kevin’s voice is right next to his ear and Kevin’s breath on his neck makes him feel like some trapped prey animal. 

“I am actually rather _un_ happy to see you right now. Would you be so kind as to unhand me? I really have to get some work done.” 

That would usually do the trick. Jonah had never been quite sure why, but whenever he brought up work and productivity, Kevin seemed to leave him alone. 

Apparently, that had changed. 

“Work? I thought you were going home, enjoying your free time? Jonah, you should really take a day off. You seem really uptight. Relax a bit, why don’t you?” 

The last bit is accompanied by Kevin massaging his shoulders. This only makes Jonah more uncomfortable, and Kevin feels his entire body tense up under his hands. 

“Oh right, you don’t like unsolicited touches.” 

Within a second, the warmth behind him is gone and Jonah has to take another second to register that he can move his body again. He frowns when he realizes that he misses the warmth. However, he quickly changes his mind about that when he hears Kevin mutter “What a hypocrite...” under his breath. 

With his hand still on the doorknob, Jonah turns his head to look back at Kevin. “I don’t trust you to be alone in here. Who knows what you’d get up to?” 

Kevin smiles and walks back and around the desk, sitting down in the chair Elias had gotten up from mere minutes ago. 

“Then you’ll have to stay and watch me. You like watching, right?” He winks. 

Jonah’s eyes widen and he sputters, yet he doesn’t come up with a clever remark to throw back at Kevin. 

The smile on Kevin’s face turns into a stern, flat line and he leans on the desk in front of him, stapling his fingers. 

“I think you should take your coat off. And bring me that cane, while you’re at it.” He flashes Jonah a grin. 

Jonah has now fully turned around, no longer facing the door. He stares at Kevin. Then, he narrows his eyes. “I’m not giving you my cane. I really don’t care what you plan to do with it, it has... sentimental value.” 

Kevin’s face falls and he fakes a gasp. “Sentimental value? _You_? Oh Jonah, I really thought I wouldn’t live to see the day-” 

“ _Please_ shut up.” Kevin shuts his mouth. But then he opens it again. “Well, fine. Don’t bring me your cane.” He cranes his neck to look at Jonah’s feet. “Hey, at least you’re wearing nice shoes.” 

Jonah looks down, noting that he is wearing high heels with an eye pattern on the soles. 

“Why would that be of any importance?” He can’t hide a hint of nervousness in his voice and adds some compulsion to cover it up. Kevin visibly shudders. “Oh, I love it when you do that! Do it again, do it again!” 

Jonah’s face contorts with disgust, but when he sees Kevin’s expression he sighs. 

“ _Why would the shoes I wear be of any importance to you?_ ” 

Kevin shudders again. This time, he answers. “No reason, really. I just like your shoes.” 

Jonah’s eye twitches. Kevin breaks out into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. 

“Hahaha! What, did you think I was gonna ask you to step on me or something?” He wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh, that is _precious_.” 

Jonah’s face reddens and he coughs to cover it up and school his features. 

“Well, I would hope you do not ask that of me, since I have to lea-” 

Kevin interrupts him, his tone uncharacteristically flat. “Drop the act.” 

Jonah freezes, staring at Kevin with wide eyes. 

Kevin stares back blankly for a few seconds before laughing once again. 

“Oh, I’m just messing with ya! You should’ve seen your face!” 

Jonah grits his teeth and is about to walk out the door again when the laughing abruptly stops and he hears a soft “Come over here already.” 

Jonah’s hands drop to his sides and he takes a deep breath. He places his cane next to the coat hanger and hangs up his coat, then turns and walks over to the desk, stopping in front of it. His eyes are glued to the logo imprinted on the front of the desk. _Vigilo, opperior, audio_. 

He feels Kevin’s gaze on him and crosses his arms. 

Kevin chuckles. “There we go. Still the same man after all.” 

At that, Jonah looks up at him. 

“I would prefer if you didn’t remind me of that.” 

Kevin pouts. “Aw, why not? It’s such a nice memory. You, all tied up, kneeling in front of me as I spread your legs and-” 

“ _Shut. Up_.” 

Kevin hums, but keeps his mouth closed. Instead, he reaches into a small bag he had placed under the desk, unnoticed by Jonah. 

He takes out a long piece of yellow-ish rope. 

“Why don’t we repeat that? I promise I’ll make it more enjoyable for you this time.” 

Jonah swallows and his eyes flicker from the rope to Kevin’s face, trying to figure out if he can still bolt without Kevin stopping him. 

He closes his eyes and sighs for the umpteenth time this evening. “Alright.” 

“What was that?” 

“Alright, _Sir_.” Kevin can’t help but giggle at his annoyed tone. 

Placing the rope on the desk in front of him, Kevin pats his legs, indicating for Jonah to sit in his lap. 

Jonah does so without complaint. This, he can do. 

Kevin’s smile is soft now. “Good. Quite the nice suit you have there. Do they even still make these?” 

“Oh, this style isn’t really in fashion anymore, but there’s this new trend that-” Jonah grips Kevin’s shoulders tighter and shuts himself up, realizing that Kevin obviously did not mean to have an actual conversation about his suit with him. 

Kevin keeps unbuttoning his shirt as if he hadn’t even heard him and Jonah looks up at the ceiling, already embarrassed and hoping to get this over with quickly. 

He gets so lost in thought that he doesn’t even notice Kevin moving his arms and pulling off his vest and shirt. Only when Kevin traces his hand over his neck to his collarbone does he snap out of it and look back down at Kevin. 

Chuckling, Kevin places his hands under Jonah’s thighs, asking him to lift his body up. Jonah does so, and Kevin unzips his trousers and pulls them down as far as he can along with his underwear. 

Kevin pauses for a moment. “Take these off”, he pulls at Jonah’s pants and boxers, “but leave your shoes on.” Jonah is about to laugh at him and ask whether he has developed a new fetish over the years, but Kevin’s hands move up to his neck. He doesn’t apply any pressure, but the act of intimacy alone is enough to shut Jonah right up. 

Kevin’s hands move away from his neck and Jonah huffs out a breath before standing up and doing as he was told. He moves to sit back in Kevin’s lap, but Kevin lifts both hands and pushes him back. 

“Ah ah ah, that was just so I could take off your shirt in peace. Turn around.” 

Jonah swallows and glances at the rope still on his desk, knowing that Kevin is about to tie his hands behind his back. Kevin waits patiently for Jonah to either follow the command or speak up. 

It’s weird, Jonah thinks, how he basically trusts this man with his life in these situations. Kevin was quite unhinged for some time, and he really shouldn’t have trusted him with knives back then, but things always worked out in his favour. Kevin did hurt him, yes, but he never left any permanent marks. All the scars had faded after a few years and even if they hadn’t, it wasn’t like Jonah cared much for how he left an old body. 

Finally, Jonah turned around and placed his hands behind his back, anticipating the rope being wrapped around his arms. 

“Oh, very considerate of you.” 

Kevin couldn’t have seen the scowl on Jonah’s face, but he still giggled behind him. 

The rope felt quite soft and Jonah wondered briefly if it had been made specifically for this purpose. 

He craned his neck to look at Kevin’s face. A relaxed smile played on his lips and he was completely absorbed by the task of tying a comfortable knot. 

Seeing Kevin relaxed like that, Jonah couldn’t help but loosen up himself. He turned his head forward again and waited for Kevin to finish. The man was quite the accommodating partner, all things considered. Much more accommodating than some of the other acquaintances Jonah had made in the shabbier parts of London. 

Not wanting to reminiscent on old times for too long, Jonah happily let Kevin turn him back around and push him down to his knees by the shoulders. 

Jonah keeps his head bowed as he waits for Kevin to speak up again. 

“Quite the nice body you got there. Almost looks a little underweight, though.” 

Jonah decides not to comment. 

Realizing he won’t get an answer for the implied question, Kevin cups Jonah’s face with both hands and lifts his chin up. 

“If you manage to get my pants off without using your hands, I’ll give you a reward.” 

Jonah blinks up at him, processing the statement. Then, he nods. 

Kevin grins and leans back in the chair, slightly spreading his legs. “Good. Let’s see you try.” 

Jonah huffs and shuffles forward, getting as close as he can. His face hovers in front of Kevin’s crotch area for some time before he finally swallows his pride and uses his teeth to try and get a hold of the zipper. It takes him a few tries, and the feeling of Kevin’s eyes on him isn’t really helping. 

He manages to pull the zipper all the way down, but now he is faced with the challenge of undoing a button with only his mouth. Absentmindedly licking his lips, Jonah tries to think of a way to do that as gracefully as possible. 

Apparently, he was taking too long. He hears Kevin sigh and then feels a hand running though his hair. Jonah flinches at the sudden touch, having been lost in thought. Kevin giggles. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just me. Need a little help?” 

Jonah glares up at him and vehemently shakes his head. “Oh? Are you that eager to earn your reward?” 

Jonah doesn’t answer and instead bites into the pants, pulling to the side and up until the button pops free. 

“Oh, impressive! I didn’t think you would actually do it. _Very_ good, Jonah.” 

Jonah can’t help but shiver at the praise, but he blames it on the cold air. Who cares if Kevin’s body right in front of him radiates warmth? It’s clearly the cold. 

Jonah sits back, obviously pleased with himself. Kevin hums again. “Now, I did say you have to _pull down_ my pants...” 

Jonah’s brows furrow. He looks at Kevin, sitting comfortably in his chair. 

“There’s no way I can get them off without you standing up. But I’m guessing that would mean I have to forfeit my reward, correct?” 

Kevin is smiling his too wide smile with too many teeth again. “My, you were always such a fast learner! That is correct.” 

Jonah frowns, staring at the button he had managed to undo. 

Kevin rests his chin on his hand and places the other on Jonah’s head, softly petting his hair. 

Jonah makes an impatient noise, obviously distracted by the hand playing with his hair. After a few seconds, he leans forward again and makes a lame attempt at trying to pull down Kevin’s pants. He is very aware that he is acting irrationally. There is no way to pull the pants down. He’s just hoping that Kevin will take pity on him if he soaks his entire waistband with spit. 

Jonah mouths at the zipper, and gets an idea. Maybe he can get Kevin to squirm around enough that he can pull his pants off. He draws back slightly and swallows, his mouth dry from having to chew on the fabric. 

Kevin’s hand is still in his hair. If this wasn’t what he had intended, he could easily pull him back. 

Jonah glances up and meets Kevin’s stare before leaning forward once again and resolutely pushing his face into Kevin’s crotch so he can mouth at the part of his boxers that was revealed by the open fly. 

He presses and laps and sucks and tries with all his might to get Kevin to _move_ , but all he gets for his efforts are throaty moans and some hairpulling. Which is nice, but not what he wanted. 

Some time passes and Jonah gets frustrated. He pulls back and has to suppress a cough as he realizes just how dry his mouth is. He swallows a few times. He can feel his eyes stinging and he really hopes it’s because of the cough he suppressed and not because he is somehow disappointing Kevin. 

In his despair, he looks back up at the other’s scarred face. 

Kevin takes a few seconds to wait for his breathing to even out. Jonah had done quite a number on him, even if he hadn’t managed to accomplish his goal. 

He places his hands on either side of Jonah’s head and leans down, kissing his forehead. 

“An admirable effort, but still not what I asked for.” 

A choked sound escapes Jonah and Kevin is stroking his hair and kissing his forehead again. 

He does this until he can no longer feel Jonah shivering and the pulls back, keeping his hands steady on Jonah’s shoulders. 

“I think that’s enough.” 

Jonah stares up at him, unblinking, his eyes a little red and his lips slightly parted 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Hush, it’s completely fine. You did perfectly.” More quietly, Kevin adds “I really didn’t think you’d react this way. I learn something new about you every time.” 

Kevin gets out of the chair and kneels in front of Jonah, practically hugging him and untying his hands. Jonah presses into Kevin’s shoulder, now breathing evenly. All the tension seems to have left his body. 

When he manages to untie the knot, Kevin gently leans back, massaging Jonah’s wrists. Jonah stares at his hands numbly. After a minute, Kevin helps Jonah stand up and put his clothes back on. He helps him into his coat and reminds him not to forget his cane. 

“Now, let’s get you home. Remind me to never give you impossible tasks on purpose again.”


End file.
